Time for Reflection and Planning

Wow, umm....how is it 2009 already? Seriously! I know it sounds cliche, but this year went by SO fast. I haven't even had time to sit back and reflect on all the joys, triumphs, failures, regrets, and lessons learned as I often do. I guess that's what the 3 hours before the party tonight will be spent doing. However, before I officially reflect, I'd like to share some of the experiences with you!

1) I started graduate school. This year, I began the pursuit of my advanced education; and even better, I figured out what I want to do for my first career - higher education! There have definitely been some ups and downs associated with going back to school. The ups are learning and being around like-minded people again, and the downs mostly relating to insane amounts of reading and writing and much less free time. However, as of two weeks ago I am halfway done, so I know I can persevere and give up those luxuries for the betterment of my future.

2) I got a new - AWESOME - job! Not only has this job greatly enhanced my ability to achieve financial goals, but it has also been a huge positive influence on my self esteem. I am actually doing things I am good at! Yes, I still have those days when I don't feel like being at work or when all the items on my to-do list are painful administrative (peon) tasks, but those days are less and less. The more forward I move, the more I realize how much past job experiences have either helped or poisoned me. One in particular deeply poisoned me and only now do I feel as though I am pulling myself out of that self-defeating coma. So that has been a great experience.

3) I continued growing with Greg! Sometimes it feels like I just met Greg this year, but then I think "no wait, we'll be celebrating our TWO year anniversary in February!" It's crazy. And we've been through a lot together this year. Sadly, we did not have the financial means to go on all the fun trips this year, but we did get to go to Oregon and hang out with the family as well as explore Philadelphia. 2008 was the year where we really started getting to know each other - the good, the bad, and the ugly. I am ashamed to say that Greg has probably experienced some extremely ugly parts of my personality; however he still loves me just as much if not more thus confirming how great we are together!

4) I started getting serious about exercise again. It's been a struggle yes, especially when compounding it with school, but I made a real effort this year. Sadly, December has been a horrible month for me in the health arena, but that is going to change. I am just happy that I have finally made it a priority again.

I know there is more, but I just wanted to hop on the "reflection bandwagon" while I could and get the juices flowing for later tonight when I write a REALLY long journal entry.

One of my biggest resolutions for the new year is to develop my own 101 things in 1001 days list (as seen on Get Rich Slowly). As this list develops and progresses I will share it with you. One of the items on that list has to do with this blog. I have been a sad, sad excuse for a blogger this year and I'd like to start posting at least once a week or more if possible. This is a great way to not only get my thoughts out of my overflowing brain, but also to share what is going on with those who care about me. So look for more in the future...and confront me about it if you don't see a post in a while!

Happy New Year Everyone! Let's all strive to make this year the best yet!

Running Quote of the Week: One

Picture by zebra.paperclip

"Running is a big question mark that's there each and every day. It asks you, 'Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?'"
- Peter Maher, Irish-Canadian Olympian and sub-2:12 marathoner

I'm not gonna lie, this whole running 3 days a week thing has been hard. It's not necessarily difficult to make the time, it's difficult to make myself use the time for the means of fitness. Thankfully, I'm still on week three of the program, so I haven't fallen TOO far behind. I should be on my last week when I go home for Christmas vacation, and that may actually give me even more motivation to go while I'm home than if I were done, and just continuing to run. I think I'm still going to gift myself some Under Armor before I go home, and maybe I'll go to a running store in Portland, so I can save the tax on a new pair of shoes. Or even better, maybe someone will buy me the running shoes for Christmas!

So my goal for the week, is to be strong each day; to go running whether it's easy and convenient, or not. I have to make fitness and nutrition a part of life now, or it will just get more and more difficult as the years go by.

Also, this weekend Greg and I are cooking my lunches for the week again. We're making split pea soup, pepperoni cheese bread, and wheat bread. I'm actually enjoying this grocery shopping/cooking thing. It's fun to see how much money and calories I can save!

Balance: Where saving and savoring collide

This article was written about a week ago...sorry it took so long to post!

I read an article yesterday that struck me. It is entitled "Millionaires in the Making: The Rodrigueses. The put more than half of their income into savings, rarely travel, and share one entree when the eat out. Now, most of you who who've met me know that I am a huge fan of fiscal responsibility, but I think there is a point where it can get out of control. I'm not saying the couple in this article has not found that balance, since it is different for everyone, but I used to think I wanted to live this way...saving everything I could for later.

Don't get me wrong, I still believe in delayed gratification; but I also believe in living for today and never holding back. I thought about this a lot as I pondered buying a motorcycle this weekend. Sadly, the only bike in my price range was not what I was looking for, but I am thankful for all the deep thinking the eve of this purchase brought with it. You see, I have no idea how long I will be allowed to live on this earth, or how long I will be able to experience this precious gift we humans call a life. I could live til I'm 100, or I could leave this world long before that. I don't know. This thought both scares the crap out of me, and yet gives me an odd sense of peace. I believe it is important to have a healthy fear of everything, but not to allow that fear to hold you back from life. Just as I don't want the danger of flying in an airplane to keep me from embarking on all the travel I want to experience, I also don't want my fear of future financial security to keep me from truly enjoying life today. I definitely want to live within my means, and I do not think there should be any other way, but I also want to take fun and romantic vacations, go out to dinner once in a while, and live in a house where I truly feel I am at home.

I think a great formula for this way of life was discussed one on of my favorite personal finance sites, Get Rich Slowly. It is called the Balanced Money Formula. Basically, it calls for spending 50% of ones income on needs (rent, groceries, utilities, car insurance, etc.), 30% on wants (dining, travel, cable tv, etc.), and 20% goes toward either paying off past consumer debt or saving for the future. Now, there are times when this may be out of proportion. For example, I am saving for several future items: a wedding, a house down payment, paying off my student loan once I finish graduate school, a replacement car, motorcycle, anniversary travel. So at this point, I will take part of that 30% and put it toward future wants. Hopefully this makes sense in print as much as it does inside my head.

My basic point is that I want my life to be sustainable: living in a desired way without stealing from my future. I want to be able to live life to the fullest, every day...for as long as I am blessed to be here.

True Inspiration

I just finished watching one of the most inspirational lectures I've heard in a long time...possibly ever. It is by a man named Randy Pausch, a tenured professor at Carnegie Mellon University who passed away this summer (July 25, 2008). Wow! What an incredible person! There are so many points from the lecture that I could write about, but instead I will spare you and just direct you to the video.

Instead, I wanted to use this blog as more of a forum for myself. You see, I feel like my life has become dangerously sidetracked since I started my first "real job" (and if you don't know that story, please feel free to ask). I have forgotten so many of my dreams and wonder if I am headed in the right direction. This video challenged me to remember those dreams, and work toward them (either realistically or metaphorically). So that's what I want to do...write them out and get back on the right path.

So what did I want to do when I was a kid? What did I want to be? What was exciting? To be honest, sometimes it's hard to even remember certain aspects of my childhood....but I'm sure gonna try (now, and for the rest of my life).

1. I wanted to be an astronaut. Not only was I interested in science when I was a kid, but I was utterly fascinated with space. I knew so much random information about the planets it wasn't even funny. I was the only one who knew the order of the planets at the beginning of my astronomy class. How can I incorporate this? Does it have to do with my sense of wonder? Will I ever be able to go into space and see that view, feel that awe? That's one dream I need to figure out and work toward.

2. I wanted to be a performer. This dream was always changing; one minute I wanted to be a professional singer, the next I wanted to be a Rockette. One minute I wanted to be a movie star, the next I wanted to be on Broadway. The moral of the story is, I love people. I love performing. I love telling stories. I love teaching people things. How does this translate? Where am I supposed to go with this dream?

3. I wanted to be valedictorian. CHECK! Yay, got one! There was more to this one than just that honor though. You see, I wanted to hold myself to high standards...to push myself toward more than others, and even I, thought I could accomplish. I still remember the day I decided I was going to be valedictorian. I was sitting at my brother's senior awards ceremony and I saw this girl who got all the awards...and I wanted to be her, because I knew I could! Maybe I'll expand on that later. :)

4. I wanted to love and be loved. I know this sounds silly, but I wanted what my parents didn't have: the top of love you fight for. I wanted a close family who would go on family trips every year. I wanted to be a cute mom, and a hott wife. I think I'm very much on my way toward these goals. I love you Greg!

I'm sure there are more...and as I come up with them, I'll write them out. But for now, I just want to focus on envisioning the next few years of my life and make sure I'm on the right track!

Seriously though...watch this video!!

Starting Over

My goals are still in tact, but all the schoolwork due last week through a kink in my running plans. As a result, I went nearly a week without doing a single run. I'm starting back up with week 2 of my running program so I don't fall too far behind. This morning's run was hard, but I felt so good afterwards.

In addition, Greg and I finally made a pact to start eating better - our habits are getting out of control. A few times a week, we'll go to the grocery store, grab a loaf of Italian bread and consume the entire thing...at 10 or 11pm! Not good if you're trying to lose weight (or in general). So tomorrow starts the habit of making lunch for the week. We're going to use the crockpot to make about 12 servings pasta e fagioli soup and the breadmaker to bake some english muffin bread. I'm pretty stoked. This is something I've been wanting to do for a while, because I know I won't lose weight until both my diet and exercise habits get under control.

In the meantime, I've been looking for pictures and quotes to inspire me through the beginning...always the toughest part of forming a habit. I plan to share them on a weekly basis (which will also help with my habit of reflecting and writing). Here are the picks for this week:

I chose this picture for a few reasons. First of all, it reminds me that a healthy lifestyle is a journey, and a long one at that. Also, it helps me remember that I need to have a goal I'm working toward, or it's hard to stay motivated. And lastly, it shows that if I make balanced, healthy lifestyle choices, the reward will be incredible (as I'm sure the view is incredible from the top of Mt. Rainer).

This weeks quote is directly correlated: If you don't do what's best for your body, you're the one who comes up on the short end.

* Quote by Julius Erving. Picture by Jim Frazier.

Some Random, Daily Thoughts...

So yesterday I wrote, during my initial frustration, about how I am hard on myself. And about how I need to take it easy. Here is my dilemma...a bit of a catch 22. Maybe.

I'm a decent writer. I don't necessarily think I could be a professional by any means, but for the most part, my thoughts come across clear. Yesterday in my "easier" class this semester, our professor gave us his thoughts on graduate school and writing. He mentioned that we could all stand to improve, and gave us precise reasons why each of us received the grade written on our papers. Yes I was a bit disappointed with my low A/high B; but he said something that really hit me, and caused my frustration to subside. He said, "Some of you can really write, but we can all, myself included, stand to improve." He went on to mention how he thought that writing was one of the weakest points for today's graduate students. It is so true though. All of us go in there, expecting to get these perfect grades on our papers. We are all, or at least a vast majority of us are, perfectionists. We get highly irritated when we see a B, or even an A- (case in point, yesterday evening). But, if we are constantly getting A's, how are we supposed to push ourselves to improve. We will constantly be floating in this world where we think we are simply going to school to get a piece of paper, not to learn. Imagine that! Someone going to school just for the degree! I have never heard of anyone who did that! [Insert deeply sarcastic facial expression here]. To be honest, my writing could stand major improvement. My blog would be a lot better, it probably wouldn't take me as long to write good, decent papers, and it would just make me a much more competitive person in the workplace. However, for some reason, I am ghastly afraid of seeing a "B" on my transcript. I got them in undergraduate school, and look where I am now! I'm fine! I have a good job, work with intelligent people. It didn't deter my career path at all. So why am I still afraid. Perhaps it's because of all the rumors that "Graduate school should not be hard; you should not be there if you can't get straight A's. Not to mention the fact that if you don't get straight A's, good luck going for that Doctorate." Oy! I hate pressure, I really do! So that's another one of those lingering goals - dispensing with my fear of imperfection.

In other news, my running program is going very well. I'm finding that, for the most part, I actually look forward to my runs now. Yay! I might actually finish this thing after all! The only bad part is, I need to learn to stretch much better - one of my hamstrings was REALLY sore yesterday.

Okay, enough of this online-journaly entry. I just haven't had the time to write in my paper journal a lot lately and thought I would at least try to throw out some of my thoughts on here; maybe someone else can benefit from them. :)

Over the next week or so, I will be writing a paper on career-oriented education. I have a feeling that may bring up a LOT of thoughts, and I am hoping to post some of them here. Stay tuned!

Take it Easy!

News Flash! Rachel is VERY hard on herself. VERY! A little self-disclosure here: I got an A- on my first paper in my "easier" class of the semester. But here's the funny part about it. I got an A- on my first paper in the harder class, as well. When I got an A- in the harder course, I celebrated. When I learned of the A- in the easier course, I become very, very frustrated. What was the difference in the two situations? Class average!

In the harder course, which has hundreds of pages of reading a week, and is touted as the most difficult class in the entire program by all who have thus completed it, the class average on the first paper was a B-. So I did better than everyone. In the easier course, which requires much less reading and is touted by all as a fun elective, the class average was an A+. Not to mention, the teach often looks to me for knowledge as I work in an office closely related to the subject matter. So there ya go...I kicked butt in the course where the expectations are rough and many of my classmates did not do so hot. But in comparison to classmates in the expected "fun" course, I did fairly badly. What's wrong with this picture? THEY ARE THE SAME GRADE!?!?! Why is it that in one instance I celebrate, and even call Greg to brag, and in the other, I want to go hand my head in a corner and mope!

There are two conclusions I have come to in regards to this topic:

First, I am far too much of a perfectionist when it comes to grades. FAR too much. I get so sick of moping when I don't get perfect on every paper, or do not land at the top of the class on every assignment. It's a self-made form of stress and frustration and I'm SO sick of it.

Second, I am also sick of comparing myself to others. Who cares, an A- is an A- is an A-! It's a good grade. Stop whining.

Okay, so there you go. Probably too much self-disclosure there. But somehow I trust that those of who you regularly read this blog are not surprised in the least.