Friday, July 31, 2009

Finally coming up for air....

....but I'm not sure I like what I'm seeing. I have been so consumed with work and school lately that I have neglected the parts of my life that I love to focus on most - my relationship(s) and my health. Now, when I say I've neglected my "relationship(s)", I don't mean that they are bad in any way, but rather that I have not been able to put the amount of energy I want into them. Since I find relationships to be one of, if not THE, most rewarding endeavors on this Earth, it's hard when I'm not able to put focus there. I have not been able to display romance to the love of my life the way I would like to. I have not been able to deepen and cultivate the few meaningful friendship I have on this coast. And I definitely have not been strengthening my relationship with God they way I want or need to. So yeah...I'll be glad when I can switch gears.

Additionally, my health routine has been like a yo-yo. I'm GREAT one week, cruddy the next. I just need to change my mindset. I thought I was there, but I'm not. But then again, has anyone ever really arrived at a stage where healthy choices are no longer tough? Where they will take the banana over the milkshake on a hot summer day in the park? Or the whole wheat, turkey sandwich over the Five Guys burger? No, I'm not saying I haven't had my moments where I truly craved the healthier options, but I'm not there now. So I guess I'm pondering whether or not there is a point where you will crave the healthy option EVERY time. I may never discover the answer to this.

I think what has made it most difficult is that, we as humans only have so much willpower. This semester has been rough, both at work and at school, so much of my willpower has been going toward those endeavors, so I don't have as much left when it reaches the end of the day and I can choose to hang out with a friend, do something romantic, or go to the gym. Sometimes I'd rather just go home, eat some pizza or whatever, and go to bed. But I have to rearrange my priorities.

Okay, I know this is a very frazzled, random post, but I guess that's a pretty clear snapshot into my head right now. I'm gonna walk home, eat something nutritious, and do something good for myself, so I have the energy to put toward health and relationships.

So there you have it...I'm up for air. Hopefully now that I'm taking in oxygen again, I'll be posting more often as well - but no promises. :)