I'm calling this series "Oregon Trail 3.0" for a few reasons: 1) I, like many of my elementary school classmates, seriously LOVED that game when I was a kid; 2) The real Oregon Trail took place in the 19th Century, the original game came out in the 20th Century, and we are weighing the decision to make our own train now - in the 21st Century; and 3) The number 3 has had a lot of meaning in our relationship, so it seemed fitting to use it as we embark on this important decision making journey as well!
This post will be focused on the first topic and the subsequent questions that come with it...family. As a bi-coastal couple, we're automatically put in the situation where we are guaranteed to upset one family unit, especially when it comes time to have children.
Do we stay here and sadden my family on a deeper level, or move west and sadden his family?
Which family are we "closer to" now? (Or better phrased - which family would take more advantage of our close proximity?)
Which family could we depend on more for help with raising our children (child care, etc.)?
Which family is more likely to travel for holidays, etc. in order to see their future grandchildren? Also, which family has the means to travel cross country on a fairly regular basis?
What about extended family? Would one coast put is in closer to proximity to more extended family members?
As I ponder the seemingly forever gray answers to these questions, I can't help but think back to our wedding, and view it as a sort of microcosm of our current support system the way it is now. The long and short of it is this: one family was there for us, through thick and thin during the week leading up to the wedding; the other family showed up to the wedding 15 minutes before the ceremony was scheduled to start. So from this broad point of view, it seems like it would be an easy choice which family to choose, if that truly is an important factor in our decision.
I'm sure there are more questions related to this topic that the answers will bring about. But as I write this, the one thought that keeps popping into my head is this: it is OUR choice, not theirs. I realize that, but I also want to make sure that both of our families can be involved on some level, because I truly love both of our families. So there you have it - my constant and seemingly unresolvable internal battle. I know we'll come to a decision eventually, but in the meantime, I want to be better about reflecting on what's truly important to us and the life we want to build together. So no more questions left open-ended. I need to dig, find answers, and come to grips with my own decisions. For those of you who know me well, you'll find that often comes more clearly through writing.
That being said, I'm hoping that this exciting topic will get Greg back on here as an author. I love reading his words, so I know I'm looking forward to it!
