Today is a bit of a strange day for me. I'm celebrating life in two distinct, yet opposite ways. First, it is my husband's birthday so of course I am doing my best to spoil him rotten. His life has made mine so much more full, vibrant, meaningful, passionate, spiritual, and so many other adjectives I can't think of right now. He is my rock, my soft shoulder, my sounding board, my dream catcher, my best friend, and my number one fan. Life with him is utterly amazing. So today, I celebrate his incredible life.
But today, I am also going to a funeral. I can't remember the last time I went to a funeral. And today's is especially hard, because the friend who passed away was my age. He developed brain cancer last year, and that cancer took his life. I can't believe it would happen to someone so young and talented. It doesn't make sense. I've been an observer of some other far-too-soon deaths in the past few years, but have never had one hit so close to home. All I know is that I want to approach this event with solemn gratitude that I got to know Jordan for the short time he was with us and with thankfulness for his life.
In both cases, it really does make me stop and think about this whole thing we call life. What is it for? Why are we here? What's it all about? And it is times like this when I am extra thankful for my faith. My faith in God allows me to wrestle with these issues in a real, honest way. It allows me to search for the answers to these hard questions. And when things are going peachy, it doesn't seem like we need to search for answers. But we do. I especially do. So as hard as it is to deal with times like this, I go into this phase of searching with a grateful heart.
I hope to wrestle with some of those issues here, in writing, so that others may learn as well.
I need to write more, and I think between the inspiration of last week and the desperation of this week (with the hurricane and these other events), I believe I have more than enough fodder to ponder.