Slacker!

Yes, it's true...I've been a slacker, but only with the blog I promise! Since my last post in June I've been hired for a new job, started my next graduate school course focusing on leadership, passed the motorcycle safety course (meaning I can legally ride a motorcycle, bwahahaha) and spent time with my mom during the two weeks she was in Washington. Whew! Life has sure been full!

During this time things have been good, but they have also been bad. I've definitely had some great highs and some disastrous lows. For now, I will focus on the lows, as I seem to learn more from reflecting on times of hardship.

First thing first, I don't like how I treat my mom sometimes. I mean I know everyone gets frustrated with their parents at one time or another, but I feel like I do so more often than not. I want to learn to show her the love and respect that I really do hold in my heart instead of only exhibiting impatience.

Another low I noticed happened repeatedly during different situations: I am really, REALLY hard on myself. I beat myself up like nobody else can. This is NOT a good thing. I need to learn to hold myself to a high standard, while still going easy when times get rough. The prime example of this was during the Motorcycle Safety course. I was doing just find during practice. Sure I would get frustrated here and there when I wouldn't understand a maneuver before we moved onto the next, but I was having fun nonetheless. But the test was a whole different story. During the first exercise ("the box"), I messed up; I put the bike in the wrong gear thus making it very difficult. I didn't stall or drop the bike, but I did mess up the maneuver...and what did I do? I got frustrated at myself. This made the next two tests even harder than they should have been. By the end of the testing I was SURE I didn't pass. Greg and Megan kept assuring me that I didn't do nearly as bad as I felt I did, but they could not convince me otherwise. I did not let up on myself until that license was in my hand. This is something I have been doing since I can remember...coming out of class and swearing that I did horribly on a test, etc. It needs to stop.

Now I promise I'm not going to simply make this blog about all my problems. I know that I do a lot of things right as well. I was hired for an awesome job which I will start next month after my much needed vacation to Oregon. That is a feat! I know I was up against some tough competition. This is just the boost I need to get my professional life back on track. Some of my previous experiences have not been the most healthy and I need to snap out of that. I know I am better than I give myself credit for.

Moral of the story today is this: Go easy on yourself Rachel! If you don't believe in and root for yourself, nobody else will want to either.