There is one area of my life that I've been struggling with, and desperately want to make it a priority. I thank my amazing friend Jessica for inspiring me to continue on the journey, rather than standing still or moving backwards, as I have been. I want to be healthy again....and not just to lose weight, but to really feel like I'm in control of my health - especially my habits.
So I am thus forth challenging myself to write on this blog AT LEAST once a week to chronicle how I did that particular week - strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures, inspiration and hardships.
You see, the reason I've been stagnant for so long (since about June) is because I feel like I have ZERO motivation. Part of this is because I don't have a lot of physical support. Greg is wonderful and supports me whenever I bring it up (and he's even bought me a couple of GREAT books to help come up with recipes etc.) but at the same time, I lack that inner motivation you can only find when really partnering in the journey. I also have a lot of motivation via sparkpeople, but that's online...and only relevant when I check the website (which has been sporadic at best). So therefore, I am vowing to form a partnership with myself...and anyone who reads this blog.
Let's evaluate this week thus far. I've been doing fairly well on the eating front. I'm not sure how well as I have not been tracking my food on the wonderful website mentioned above. I feel fairly confident about my eating and am only splurging every once in a while. Exercise is a whole different story. I haven't been to the gym in about two weeks, I rarely walk home anymore (because the boy has been picking me up a lot), and I sit on my butt all day at work. I'm struggling to find a way to vary my workouts so I don't become bored and unchallenged, which at the same time trying to deal with the fact that I hate the gym I belong to. I'm hoping to change that in the near future, but I can't just sit around until that point. So I need to suck it up and get in a routine PRONTO! So this week I will be better about tracking food and get back to the gym. No specifics, just getting back in the swing of things.
Keep posted for regular updates.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
Finally coming up for air....
....but I'm not sure I like what I'm seeing. I have been so consumed with work and school lately that I have neglected the parts of my life that I love to focus on most - my relationship(s) and my health. Now, when I say I've neglected my "relationship(s)", I don't mean that they are bad in any way, but rather that I have not been able to put the amount of energy I want into them. Since I find relationships to be one of, if not THE, most rewarding endeavors on this Earth, it's hard when I'm not able to put focus there. I have not been able to display romance to the love of my life the way I would like to. I have not been able to deepen and cultivate the few meaningful friendship I have on this coast. And I definitely have not been strengthening my relationship with God they way I want or need to. So yeah...I'll be glad when I can switch gears.
Additionally, my health routine has been like a yo-yo. I'm GREAT one week, cruddy the next. I just need to change my mindset. I thought I was there, but I'm not. But then again, has anyone ever really arrived at a stage where healthy choices are no longer tough? Where they will take the banana over the milkshake on a hot summer day in the park? Or the whole wheat, turkey sandwich over the Five Guys burger? No, I'm not saying I haven't had my moments where I truly craved the healthier options, but I'm not there now. So I guess I'm pondering whether or not there is a point where you will crave the healthy option EVERY time. I may never discover the answer to this.
I think what has made it most difficult is that, we as humans only have so much willpower. This semester has been rough, both at work and at school, so much of my willpower has been going toward those endeavors, so I don't have as much left when it reaches the end of the day and I can choose to hang out with a friend, do something romantic, or go to the gym. Sometimes I'd rather just go home, eat some pizza or whatever, and go to bed. But I have to rearrange my priorities.
Okay, I know this is a very frazzled, random post, but I guess that's a pretty clear snapshot into my head right now. I'm gonna walk home, eat something nutritious, and do something good for myself, so I have the energy to put toward health and relationships.
So there you have it...I'm up for air. Hopefully now that I'm taking in oxygen again, I'll be posting more often as well - but no promises. :)
Additionally, my health routine has been like a yo-yo. I'm GREAT one week, cruddy the next. I just need to change my mindset. I thought I was there, but I'm not. But then again, has anyone ever really arrived at a stage where healthy choices are no longer tough? Where they will take the banana over the milkshake on a hot summer day in the park? Or the whole wheat, turkey sandwich over the Five Guys burger? No, I'm not saying I haven't had my moments where I truly craved the healthier options, but I'm not there now. So I guess I'm pondering whether or not there is a point where you will crave the healthy option EVERY time. I may never discover the answer to this.
I think what has made it most difficult is that, we as humans only have so much willpower. This semester has been rough, both at work and at school, so much of my willpower has been going toward those endeavors, so I don't have as much left when it reaches the end of the day and I can choose to hang out with a friend, do something romantic, or go to the gym. Sometimes I'd rather just go home, eat some pizza or whatever, and go to bed. But I have to rearrange my priorities.
Okay, I know this is a very frazzled, random post, but I guess that's a pretty clear snapshot into my head right now. I'm gonna walk home, eat something nutritious, and do something good for myself, so I have the energy to put toward health and relationships.
So there you have it...I'm up for air. Hopefully now that I'm taking in oxygen again, I'll be posting more often as well - but no promises. :)
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Reframing Disappointment
Thankfully, the time for being overwhelmed is over. However, the time for frustration has commenced. Yesterday, I was informed of what I believe to be an unfair grade. Instead of pouting and whining in my usual way, which I will admit I did for a while, I am trying to learn from the situation, realizing that it will not be the end of the world and won't prevent me from graduating...so why waste my time. As many of you may know, I learn and reflect best through writing, so I want to share the situation here.
Yesterday, I went to pick up my final paper/course grade from the Graduate School of Education and Human Development building. This class was a hard course, so I wasn't expecting an A, but an A- or B+ would have been nice to see. However, instead I saw a "B" for my final paper and a "B-" for my course grade with absolutely no explanation. I promptly e-mailed the professor yesterday morning, but did not hear back until about 4:30 p.m. When we spoke, he told me of a situation that I was surprised he was upset with. The gist of the story is this: I had a lot of friends who had previously taken his course and, being the person I am, I talk to them outside of class. One person mentioned a principle we had not yet talked about in class because it directly related to some of the ideas I was contemplating for my case study. Being the curious soul that I am, I asked her to explain and she did. Somewhat forgetting this situation, we started going over these concepts in class and when he asked the question about the concept my friend and I had discussed, I answered, probably too quickly I will admit. Because I was unable to answer how I figured that out to his liking, and didn't scream out "I talked to someone else about these concepts out of class", and also because I didn't go up to him after class and apologize, he pretty much tanked my class participation grade. In his opinion, it disrupted class and prevented valuable discussion and learning from taking place. I can understand where he is coming from to an extent, but at the same time, if he was troubled by that, he should have said that after class. All in all, I did learn some lessons, but I don't feel I should be "punished" for my action. I believe the rest of my engaged participation should at LEAST neutralize this supposed negative instance. I don't know, I'm a bit disturbed by the whole situation, but it's completely out of my hands now.
So what can I learn from this situation. There are a lot of completely sarcastic answers I could offer. However, at the end of the day, I will learn to humble myself and admit when I'm wrong. And I will also TRY and learn to not take grades so personally, but still work hard to do the best I can. Overall, grades are subjective, so it's hard.
That being said, let's all hope my professor accepts my apology.
Yesterday, I went to pick up my final paper/course grade from the Graduate School of Education and Human Development building. This class was a hard course, so I wasn't expecting an A, but an A- or B+ would have been nice to see. However, instead I saw a "B" for my final paper and a "B-" for my course grade with absolutely no explanation. I promptly e-mailed the professor yesterday morning, but did not hear back until about 4:30 p.m. When we spoke, he told me of a situation that I was surprised he was upset with. The gist of the story is this: I had a lot of friends who had previously taken his course and, being the person I am, I talk to them outside of class. One person mentioned a principle we had not yet talked about in class because it directly related to some of the ideas I was contemplating for my case study. Being the curious soul that I am, I asked her to explain and she did. Somewhat forgetting this situation, we started going over these concepts in class and when he asked the question about the concept my friend and I had discussed, I answered, probably too quickly I will admit. Because I was unable to answer how I figured that out to his liking, and didn't scream out "I talked to someone else about these concepts out of class", and also because I didn't go up to him after class and apologize, he pretty much tanked my class participation grade. In his opinion, it disrupted class and prevented valuable discussion and learning from taking place. I can understand where he is coming from to an extent, but at the same time, if he was troubled by that, he should have said that after class. All in all, I did learn some lessons, but I don't feel I should be "punished" for my action. I believe the rest of my engaged participation should at LEAST neutralize this supposed negative instance. I don't know, I'm a bit disturbed by the whole situation, but it's completely out of my hands now.
So what can I learn from this situation. There are a lot of completely sarcastic answers I could offer. However, at the end of the day, I will learn to humble myself and admit when I'm wrong. And I will also TRY and learn to not take grades so personally, but still work hard to do the best I can. Overall, grades are subjective, so it's hard.
That being said, let's all hope my professor accepts my apology.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Feeling Overwhelmed...And Just Dealing With It!
So, I've got a lot going on in the next few weeks. Usually when this kind of thing happens I get totally stressed out and take it out on those around me - especially poor Greg. But not this time. I'm doing what I need to do, even though it won't be super fun. Yes, yes, I'm actually using a vacation day to sit at Panera Bread and write a freaking case study. However, I know that since it won't be a Saturday, I'll actually get something done.
I think my brain has begun to protest Saturdays. No matter how hard I try sometimes, I just can't be productive. It stinks like nothing I've ever experienced. That being said, I really need to start utilizing my weeknights better, especially during the summer term. Thankfully, I'll only have one class fall term; that will be a treat. And then after December, I don't "have" to take any more classes. I probably will because I'm just that big of a nerd, but I can audit, or not worry about the grade affecting my GPA.
So yeah, life is pretty good, and I'm finally learning to deal with stress. I've been much more productive at work, I've been losing weight consistently, and Greg and I have finally perfected our mid-week escape - Wednesday date nights!
I apologize for the lack of blogs...and I know I always say that. I've just been busy trying to keep my life balanced which, after all, is the whole point of this blog. :)
I think my brain has begun to protest Saturdays. No matter how hard I try sometimes, I just can't be productive. It stinks like nothing I've ever experienced. That being said, I really need to start utilizing my weeknights better, especially during the summer term. Thankfully, I'll only have one class fall term; that will be a treat. And then after December, I don't "have" to take any more classes. I probably will because I'm just that big of a nerd, but I can audit, or not worry about the grade affecting my GPA.
So yeah, life is pretty good, and I'm finally learning to deal with stress. I've been much more productive at work, I've been losing weight consistently, and Greg and I have finally perfected our mid-week escape - Wednesday date nights!
I apologize for the lack of blogs...and I know I always say that. I've just been busy trying to keep my life balanced which, after all, is the whole point of this blog. :)
Friday, April 10, 2009
My First 5k!!!!!
Notice the 5 exclamation marks....yeah, I did!
Tomorrow morning bright and early, I will be running my first ever 5k race. I hope this is the first of many in my transition to a more active lifestyle. If you are awake at 8:30 am EST (5:30 am PST), feel free to send good thoughts my way. I plan to a write and informative blog post about my experience soon. Oh, and I also plan on blogging a LOT more often once this darned semester is over in the 3 weeks. Until then - I'll try my best!
Tomorrow morning bright and early, I will be running my first ever 5k race. I hope this is the first of many in my transition to a more active lifestyle. If you are awake at 8:30 am EST (5:30 am PST), feel free to send good thoughts my way. I plan to a write and informative blog post about my experience soon. Oh, and I also plan on blogging a LOT more often once this darned semester is over in the 3 weeks. Until then - I'll try my best!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Impatience
**Before I begin my thought, I've noticed that I use a lot of one-word titles. Interesting.
I don't have a scale at home. This means when I go to the gym I am determined to get a good approximation of my weight. Today I was a bit disheartened because I hadn't lost even a quarter of a pound since my last weigh-in on Tuesday. However, I forgot to think about one important fact - girls often gain weight (anywhere from 2-5 pounds in fact) during a particular timeframe each month. I realize this means I probably have lost weight, but even with that knowledge I'm still frustrated. Why do we women do this to ourselves? We finally make a huge decision to change our lifestyles and then get all bent out of shape when we don't lose 10 pounds in a week! I mean I've lost between 3-4 pounds since I started last Tuesday. That's something! I'm trying so hard to learn to accept the fact that even if I only lose 1 pound in a week, I'm still doing something very right. I'm trying to reach my goal weight by July, and even if I only lose the recommended 1-2 pounds per week I'll be well on my way there. I also don't want to consider only weight in this lifestyle change; I need to begin considering size (howt hings fit), health (how I feel), and habits (if the choices I'm making are actually sticking, or if it's another fad). So there is my goal. Now I just need to have some patience in working toward it!
In other news, it's finally spring. Yay for being outdoors!
I don't have a scale at home. This means when I go to the gym I am determined to get a good approximation of my weight. Today I was a bit disheartened because I hadn't lost even a quarter of a pound since my last weigh-in on Tuesday. However, I forgot to think about one important fact - girls often gain weight (anywhere from 2-5 pounds in fact) during a particular timeframe each month. I realize this means I probably have lost weight, but even with that knowledge I'm still frustrated. Why do we women do this to ourselves? We finally make a huge decision to change our lifestyles and then get all bent out of shape when we don't lose 10 pounds in a week! I mean I've lost between 3-4 pounds since I started last Tuesday. That's something! I'm trying so hard to learn to accept the fact that even if I only lose 1 pound in a week, I'm still doing something very right. I'm trying to reach my goal weight by July, and even if I only lose the recommended 1-2 pounds per week I'll be well on my way there. I also don't want to consider only weight in this lifestyle change; I need to begin considering size (howt hings fit), health (how I feel), and habits (if the choices I'm making are actually sticking, or if it's another fad). So there is my goal. Now I just need to have some patience in working toward it!
In other news, it's finally spring. Yay for being outdoors!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Run Your Own Run
I went running today....and keep in mind I haven't had a good run in about a week. Last Monday, it was the perfect temperature outside so I decided to forgo the gym. Well, it was also insanely windy out and I accidentally pushed skip on my ipod (which is how I time my runs) so, it was disastrous in two ways. I went to the gym and tried again...and I did it, but JUST BARELY. Needless to say that run did not feel GOOD either. I missed my run this weekend for two reasons: 1) it was rainy and gross outside and 2) I had to drive home to get some homework I had forgotten and DC drivers do not know how to handle their cars in the rain (TRAFFIC). So I tried again this Monday, after hearing a friend tell me that treadmill runs seem shorter/easier when the system is set on random, so I tried that. Well, the prolem is, it had me going uphill for the entire first 1.5 miles. I got to a point where I was so warm and so tired I just couldn't do it anymore. All this being said, I'm proud of myself for how I have performed the last few days.
After deciding that the 2.5 miles was not going to happen on Monday, I got off the treadmill and did the reamining 15 minutes on the ellpitical. This move reminded me of how much I miss my beloved elliptical friend. So Tuesday, I went back to the gym and did 30 minutes on the elliptical - about 2 miles. Yesterday, I took a break. Then today, I was back in the gym and completed a 2.4 mile run with a bit slower pace, including a random stop in the middle to tie my rogue shoelace. I'm not the fastest runner in the world, but I've learned that I have to take it at my own pace. Just like they said in my Motorcycle Safety Course (MSF), "ride your own ride"...I needed (and still need) to learn to "run my own run". That's what I plan to do at the 5k in April! I may not run the entire thing, but gosh darn it, I'm going to finish! I am not giving up on my goal!!
In addition to stepping it up with exercise, I have been eating much better and tracking my calories again. I haven't noticed much difference yet, but it's only been a few days. Yay for small victories! My goal is to keep things sustainable and to do this for the sake of health, not the sake of weight.
After deciding that the 2.5 miles was not going to happen on Monday, I got off the treadmill and did the reamining 15 minutes on the ellpitical. This move reminded me of how much I miss my beloved elliptical friend. So Tuesday, I went back to the gym and did 30 minutes on the elliptical - about 2 miles. Yesterday, I took a break. Then today, I was back in the gym and completed a 2.4 mile run with a bit slower pace, including a random stop in the middle to tie my rogue shoelace. I'm not the fastest runner in the world, but I've learned that I have to take it at my own pace. Just like they said in my Motorcycle Safety Course (MSF), "ride your own ride"...I needed (and still need) to learn to "run my own run". That's what I plan to do at the 5k in April! I may not run the entire thing, but gosh darn it, I'm going to finish! I am not giving up on my goal!!
In addition to stepping it up with exercise, I have been eating much better and tracking my calories again. I haven't noticed much difference yet, but it's only been a few days. Yay for small victories! My goal is to keep things sustainable and to do this for the sake of health, not the sake of weight.
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