I just finished watching one of the most inspirational lectures I've heard in a long time...possibly ever. It is by a man named Randy Pausch, a tenured professor at Carnegie Mellon University who passed away this summer (July 25, 2008). Wow! What an incredible person! There are so many points from the lecture that I could write about, but instead I will spare you and just direct you to the video.
Instead, I wanted to use this blog as more of a forum for myself. You see, I feel like my life has become dangerously sidetracked since I started my first "real job" (and if you don't know that story, please feel free to ask). I have forgotten so many of my dreams and wonder if I am headed in the right direction. This video challenged me to remember those dreams, and work toward them (either realistically or metaphorically). So that's what I want to do...write them out and get back on the right path.
So what did I want to do when I was a kid? What did I want to be? What was exciting? To be honest, sometimes it's hard to even remember certain aspects of my childhood....but I'm sure gonna try (now, and for the rest of my life).
1. I wanted to be an astronaut. Not only was I interested in science when I was a kid, but I was utterly fascinated with space. I knew so much random information about the planets it wasn't even funny. I was the only one who knew the order of the planets at the beginning of my astronomy class. How can I incorporate this? Does it have to do with my sense of wonder? Will I ever be able to go into space and see that view, feel that awe? That's one dream I need to figure out and work toward.
2. I wanted to be a performer. This dream was always changing; one minute I wanted to be a professional singer, the next I wanted to be a Rockette. One minute I wanted to be a movie star, the next I wanted to be on Broadway. The moral of the story is, I love people. I love performing. I love telling stories. I love teaching people things. How does this translate? Where am I supposed to go with this dream?
3. I wanted to be valedictorian. CHECK! Yay, got one! There was more to this one than just that honor though. You see, I wanted to hold myself to high standards...to push myself toward more than others, and even I, thought I could accomplish. I still remember the day I decided I was going to be valedictorian. I was sitting at my brother's senior awards ceremony and I saw this girl who got all the awards...and I wanted to be her, because I knew I could! Maybe I'll expand on that later. :)
4. I wanted to love and be loved. I know this sounds silly, but I wanted what my parents didn't have: the top of love you fight for. I wanted a close family who would go on family trips every year. I wanted to be a cute mom, and a hott wife. I think I'm very much on my way toward these goals. I love you Greg!
I'm sure there are more...and as I come up with them, I'll write them out. But for now, I just want to focus on envisioning the next few years of my life and make sure I'm on the right track!
Seriously though...watch this video!!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Starting Over
My goals are still in tact, but all the schoolwork due last week through a kink in my running plans. As a result, I went nearly a week without doing a single run. I'm starting back up with week 2 of my running program so I don't fall too far behind. This morning's run was hard, but I felt so good afterwards.
In addition, Greg and I finally made a pact to start eating better - our habits are getting out of control. A few times a week, we'll go to the grocery store, grab a loaf of Italian bread and consume the entire thing...at 10 or 11pm! Not good if you're trying to lose weight (or in general). So tomorrow starts the habit of making lunch for the week. We're going to use the crockpot to make about 12 servings pasta e fagioli soup and the breadmaker to bake some english muffin bread. I'm pretty stoked. This is something I've been wanting to do for a while, because I know I won't lose weight until both my diet and exercise habits get under control.
In the meantime, I've been looking for pictures and quotes to inspire me through the beginning...always the toughest part of forming a habit. I plan to share them on a weekly basis (which will also help with my habit of reflecting and writing). Here are the picks for this week:
I chose this picture for a few reasons. First of all, it reminds me that a healthy lifestyle is a journey, and a long one at that. Also, it helps me remember that I need to have a goal I'm working toward, or it's hard to stay motivated. And lastly, it shows that if I make balanced, healthy lifestyle choices, the reward will be incredible (as I'm sure the view is incredible from the top of Mt. Rainer).
This weeks quote is directly correlated: If you don't do what's best for your body, you're the one who comes up on the short end.
* Quote by Julius Erving. Picture by Jim Frazier.
In addition, Greg and I finally made a pact to start eating better - our habits are getting out of control. A few times a week, we'll go to the grocery store, grab a loaf of Italian bread and consume the entire thing...at 10 or 11pm! Not good if you're trying to lose weight (or in general). So tomorrow starts the habit of making lunch for the week. We're going to use the crockpot to make about 12 servings pasta e fagioli soup and the breadmaker to bake some english muffin bread. I'm pretty stoked. This is something I've been wanting to do for a while, because I know I won't lose weight until both my diet and exercise habits get under control.
In the meantime, I've been looking for pictures and quotes to inspire me through the beginning...always the toughest part of forming a habit. I plan to share them on a weekly basis (which will also help with my habit of reflecting and writing). Here are the picks for this week:
I chose this picture for a few reasons. First of all, it reminds me that a healthy lifestyle is a journey, and a long one at that. Also, it helps me remember that I need to have a goal I'm working toward, or it's hard to stay motivated. And lastly, it shows that if I make balanced, healthy lifestyle choices, the reward will be incredible (as I'm sure the view is incredible from the top of Mt. Rainer).This weeks quote is directly correlated: If you don't do what's best for your body, you're the one who comes up on the short end.
* Quote by Julius Erving. Picture by Jim Frazier.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Some Random, Daily Thoughts...
So yesterday I wrote, during my initial frustration, about how I am hard on myself. And about how I need to take it easy. Here is my dilemma...a bit of a catch 22. Maybe.
I'm a decent writer. I don't necessarily think I could be a professional by any means, but for the most part, my thoughts come across clear. Yesterday in my "easier" class this semester, our professor gave us his thoughts on graduate school and writing. He mentioned that we could all stand to improve, and gave us precise reasons why each of us received the grade written on our papers. Yes I was a bit disappointed with my low A/high B; but he said something that really hit me, and caused my frustration to subside. He said, "Some of you can really write, but we can all, myself included, stand to improve." He went on to mention how he thought that writing was one of the weakest points for today's graduate students. It is so true though. All of us go in there, expecting to get these perfect grades on our papers. We are all, or at least a vast majority of us are, perfectionists. We get highly irritated when we see a B, or even an A- (case in point, yesterday evening). But, if we are constantly getting A's, how are we supposed to push ourselves to improve. We will constantly be floating in this world where we think we are simply going to school to get a piece of paper, not to learn. Imagine that! Someone going to school just for the degree! I have never heard of anyone who did that! [Insert deeply sarcastic facial expression here]. To be honest, my writing could stand major improvement. My blog would be a lot better, it probably wouldn't take me as long to write good, decent papers, and it would just make me a much more competitive person in the workplace. However, for some reason, I am ghastly afraid of seeing a "B" on my transcript. I got them in undergraduate school, and look where I am now! I'm fine! I have a good job, work with intelligent people. It didn't deter my career path at all. So why am I still afraid. Perhaps it's because of all the rumors that "Graduate school should not be hard; you should not be there if you can't get straight A's. Not to mention the fact that if you don't get straight A's, good luck going for that Doctorate." Oy! I hate pressure, I really do! So that's another one of those lingering goals - dispensing with my fear of imperfection.
In other news, my running program is going very well. I'm finding that, for the most part, I actually look forward to my runs now. Yay! I might actually finish this thing after all! The only bad part is, I need to learn to stretch much better - one of my hamstrings was REALLY sore yesterday.
Okay, enough of this online-journaly entry. I just haven't had the time to write in my paper journal a lot lately and thought I would at least try to throw out some of my thoughts on here; maybe someone else can benefit from them. :)
Over the next week or so, I will be writing a paper on career-oriented education. I have a feeling that may bring up a LOT of thoughts, and I am hoping to post some of them here. Stay tuned!
I'm a decent writer. I don't necessarily think I could be a professional by any means, but for the most part, my thoughts come across clear. Yesterday in my "easier" class this semester, our professor gave us his thoughts on graduate school and writing. He mentioned that we could all stand to improve, and gave us precise reasons why each of us received the grade written on our papers. Yes I was a bit disappointed with my low A/high B; but he said something that really hit me, and caused my frustration to subside. He said, "Some of you can really write, but we can all, myself included, stand to improve." He went on to mention how he thought that writing was one of the weakest points for today's graduate students. It is so true though. All of us go in there, expecting to get these perfect grades on our papers. We are all, or at least a vast majority of us are, perfectionists. We get highly irritated when we see a B, or even an A- (case in point, yesterday evening). But, if we are constantly getting A's, how are we supposed to push ourselves to improve. We will constantly be floating in this world where we think we are simply going to school to get a piece of paper, not to learn. Imagine that! Someone going to school just for the degree! I have never heard of anyone who did that! [Insert deeply sarcastic facial expression here]. To be honest, my writing could stand major improvement. My blog would be a lot better, it probably wouldn't take me as long to write good, decent papers, and it would just make me a much more competitive person in the workplace. However, for some reason, I am ghastly afraid of seeing a "B" on my transcript. I got them in undergraduate school, and look where I am now! I'm fine! I have a good job, work with intelligent people. It didn't deter my career path at all. So why am I still afraid. Perhaps it's because of all the rumors that "Graduate school should not be hard; you should not be there if you can't get straight A's. Not to mention the fact that if you don't get straight A's, good luck going for that Doctorate." Oy! I hate pressure, I really do! So that's another one of those lingering goals - dispensing with my fear of imperfection.
In other news, my running program is going very well. I'm finding that, for the most part, I actually look forward to my runs now. Yay! I might actually finish this thing after all! The only bad part is, I need to learn to stretch much better - one of my hamstrings was REALLY sore yesterday.
Okay, enough of this online-journaly entry. I just haven't had the time to write in my paper journal a lot lately and thought I would at least try to throw out some of my thoughts on here; maybe someone else can benefit from them. :)
Over the next week or so, I will be writing a paper on career-oriented education. I have a feeling that may bring up a LOT of thoughts, and I am hoping to post some of them here. Stay tuned!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Take it Easy!
News Flash! Rachel is VERY hard on herself. VERY! A little self-disclosure here: I got an A- on my first paper in my "easier" class of the semester. But here's the funny part about it. I got an A- on my first paper in the harder class, as well. When I got an A- in the harder course, I celebrated. When I learned of the A- in the easier course, I become very, very frustrated. What was the difference in the two situations? Class average!
In the harder course, which has hundreds of pages of reading a week, and is touted as the most difficult class in the entire program by all who have thus completed it, the class average on the first paper was a B-. So I did better than everyone. In the easier course, which requires much less reading and is touted by all as a fun elective, the class average was an A+. Not to mention, the teach often looks to me for knowledge as I work in an office closely related to the subject matter. So there ya go...I kicked butt in the course where the expectations are rough and many of my classmates did not do so hot. But in comparison to classmates in the expected "fun" course, I did fairly badly. What's wrong with this picture? THEY ARE THE SAME GRADE!?!?! Why is it that in one instance I celebrate, and even call Greg to brag, and in the other, I want to go hand my head in a corner and mope!
There are two conclusions I have come to in regards to this topic:
First, I am far too much of a perfectionist when it comes to grades. FAR too much. I get so sick of moping when I don't get perfect on every paper, or do not land at the top of the class on every assignment. It's a self-made form of stress and frustration and I'm SO sick of it.
Second, I am also sick of comparing myself to others. Who cares, an A- is an A- is an A-! It's a good grade. Stop whining.
Okay, so there you go. Probably too much self-disclosure there. But somehow I trust that those of who you regularly read this blog are not surprised in the least.
In the harder course, which has hundreds of pages of reading a week, and is touted as the most difficult class in the entire program by all who have thus completed it, the class average on the first paper was a B-. So I did better than everyone. In the easier course, which requires much less reading and is touted by all as a fun elective, the class average was an A+. Not to mention, the teach often looks to me for knowledge as I work in an office closely related to the subject matter. So there ya go...I kicked butt in the course where the expectations are rough and many of my classmates did not do so hot. But in comparison to classmates in the expected "fun" course, I did fairly badly. What's wrong with this picture? THEY ARE THE SAME GRADE!?!?! Why is it that in one instance I celebrate, and even call Greg to brag, and in the other, I want to go hand my head in a corner and mope!
There are two conclusions I have come to in regards to this topic:
First, I am far too much of a perfectionist when it comes to grades. FAR too much. I get so sick of moping when I don't get perfect on every paper, or do not land at the top of the class on every assignment. It's a self-made form of stress and frustration and I'm SO sick of it.
Second, I am also sick of comparing myself to others. Who cares, an A- is an A- is an A-! It's a good grade. Stop whining.
Okay, so there you go. Probably too much self-disclosure there. But somehow I trust that those of who you regularly read this blog are not surprised in the least.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Time to Tri Something New!
First of all, yes, I know that "tri" is spelled wrong in the title. It's intentional, I promise!
As some of you may know, I've been in a "health" funk for quite some time now. In fact, I've just been in a general funk, but health has been one of the primary areas. While I've gotten back into an exercise "routine", I feel like it's not enough. Eventually it will become a boring, post-work activity that I don't look forward to in the least. I think I discovered why this is the case: I'm not working toward anything. Yes, there is always the goal of weight loss, however, that is not enough anymore. I've decided to set a goal for myself: I am going to participate in a sprint triathlon in August of 2009. At first, I thought about doing an Olympic Triathlon, but I want to start small...and I also want to leave more to work toward. So here is my plan (which I am writing more for myself than anybody else):
1. Complete the Couch to 5K Training Program. This program does exactly what is says - gets me off the couch and running a little over three miles. My first goal is to be regularly running 3 miles, at least 3 times a week. Running has always been hard for me, but I think that's because I've always tried to go too hard core too fast. This gradually helps me work toward a 3 mile starting point. One I hit that, I can continually improve. This is also perfect considering the final leg of the spring triathlon is a 5K run. Once I achieve this goal, I want to reward myself with a great pair of running shoes from a store that actually watches you run and chooses the best shoe (such as Pacers, or Portland Running Company).
2. Get a bike and start riding it regularly. For the time being, financial and weather constraints may constrict me to the stationary bike at the gym, but one spring hits, I would like to get a real bike (as I will need one for the race anyway). The Spring Triathlon distance is 16 miles, so I would like to be able to comfortably ride that distance come June or July. I am already starting to save toward this goal (purchasing the bike, and needed equipment).
3. Start swimming once a week. Since I want to keep my workouts varied, I would like to start "hitting the pool" once a week or so. I need to get back in the habit of swimming long distances, as I haven't really done this since high school. This is the first and (for many people) most daunting part of the triathlon. Luckily, I had some fairly regular practice with this in high school - I know I can do it, I just need to work up to it again.
4. Participate in the "Manassas Mini Triathlon*". This will be my first real triathlon experience, and will tell me if I have enough fun to continue with this event long term. It will also give me some beginning practice with transitions and all the anxiety that comes with competition. This will also be perfect as it will be taking place around the same time I would like to start my training program.
5. Finish the "Luray Sprint Triathlon**". Depending on how I do in the mini triathlon, and how my training is progressing, I will set more specific goals closer to race time. Right now, I'm just excited to have something to train for, rather than having a very large, ambiguous goal of "being healthy".
*Mini Triathlon = 250 yard swim/4 mile bike ride/1.4 mile run
**Sprint Triathlon = 750 yard swim/16 mile bike ride/3.1 mile run
As some of you may know, I've been in a "health" funk for quite some time now. In fact, I've just been in a general funk, but health has been one of the primary areas. While I've gotten back into an exercise "routine", I feel like it's not enough. Eventually it will become a boring, post-work activity that I don't look forward to in the least. I think I discovered why this is the case: I'm not working toward anything. Yes, there is always the goal of weight loss, however, that is not enough anymore. I've decided to set a goal for myself: I am going to participate in a sprint triathlon in August of 2009. At first, I thought about doing an Olympic Triathlon, but I want to start small...and I also want to leave more to work toward. So here is my plan (which I am writing more for myself than anybody else):
1. Complete the Couch to 5K Training Program. This program does exactly what is says - gets me off the couch and running a little over three miles. My first goal is to be regularly running 3 miles, at least 3 times a week. Running has always been hard for me, but I think that's because I've always tried to go too hard core too fast. This gradually helps me work toward a 3 mile starting point. One I hit that, I can continually improve. This is also perfect considering the final leg of the spring triathlon is a 5K run. Once I achieve this goal, I want to reward myself with a great pair of running shoes from a store that actually watches you run and chooses the best shoe (such as Pacers, or Portland Running Company).
2. Get a bike and start riding it regularly. For the time being, financial and weather constraints may constrict me to the stationary bike at the gym, but one spring hits, I would like to get a real bike (as I will need one for the race anyway). The Spring Triathlon distance is 16 miles, so I would like to be able to comfortably ride that distance come June or July. I am already starting to save toward this goal (purchasing the bike, and needed equipment).
3. Start swimming once a week. Since I want to keep my workouts varied, I would like to start "hitting the pool" once a week or so. I need to get back in the habit of swimming long distances, as I haven't really done this since high school. This is the first and (for many people) most daunting part of the triathlon. Luckily, I had some fairly regular practice with this in high school - I know I can do it, I just need to work up to it again.
4. Participate in the "Manassas Mini Triathlon*". This will be my first real triathlon experience, and will tell me if I have enough fun to continue with this event long term. It will also give me some beginning practice with transitions and all the anxiety that comes with competition. This will also be perfect as it will be taking place around the same time I would like to start my training program.
5. Finish the "Luray Sprint Triathlon**". Depending on how I do in the mini triathlon, and how my training is progressing, I will set more specific goals closer to race time. Right now, I'm just excited to have something to train for, rather than having a very large, ambiguous goal of "being healthy".
*Mini Triathlon = 250 yard swim/4 mile bike ride/1.4 mile run
**Sprint Triathlon = 750 yard swim/16 mile bike ride/3.1 mile run
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