Diminishing Comparativeness

First, I wanted to share my success in my completion of the New Years Resolution...I completed my list of 101 things in 1001 days! Woo hoo! I'm also happy to report that I've already knocked off two things by going to Inauguration and the GW Inaugural Ball. This list is very comprehensive and it's completion is just the beginning. Needless to say, the 99 remaining "things" will definitely keep me occupied during the next 2.75 years!

Now onto the real purpose of this entry. If you know much about me (or have read some of my earlier articles), you will know that one of my biggest weaknesses is a mix of jealousy and comparison. It comes in spurts. One minute I'll be fine with my life, and the next I feel like I don't make enough money, don't have a good enough job, don't have enough friends, etc. And then later, I will see a news story about job losses, or abusive relationships and I will feel blessed about my life. Sometimes I feel like a ping pong ball. I believe that all humans go through this to an extent, but sometimes it is so bad that it can suck the total enjoyment out of my life...diminish my new mantra of living to live.

A few weeks ago, I read an article entitled "Life's Enough: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others", which touches on this exact subject. I'd like to include an excerpt:

Let’s say I take a look at someone who creates amazing artwork and really top-notch podcasts on their website … and I look at my art and video skills, and realize that I don’t come close to measuring up. In fact, I look pretty pitiful (I’m a lousy drawer and don’t know anything about video).

But wait a minute: it’s not a fair comparison. Just because I don’t measure up doesn’t mean I should get out of the blogging business, or that I should get depressed or jealous or resentful. Instead, if I looked at my strengths — writing useful and honest posts — I can see that I have a lot to offer, a lot to be happy about.

And that’s so important — being able to look at your own strengths, and see your true value. It’s actually one of the keys to success, because without this ability, you will be unmotivated, and won’t believe in yourself.

That is so true... I do often make very unfair comparisons. I'll compare myself financially to a lawyer, or compare myself professionally to someone who has been in the field for much longer and has a much more significant amount of education. It's just unfair and it doesn't have a positive affect on anyone, especially me. And in addition to making me unhappy with what I have, it also sometimes keeps me from getting to know others without pre-judging them. If I feel they are better than me, or have something I don't, I have a certain resentment for them before I even get to know them. I hate that SO MUCH!

So my two-part resolution to start delving into this frustration is this:

1) Any time I feel myself starting to compare or become jealous, I want to be conscious of what is happening and mentally say "stop it". I want to stop comparison in its tracks!

2) Rather than compare myself to others, I want to get to know them first. I want to learn from them instead of getting frustrated at what they have and allowing that to prevent me from expanding my horizons.

I would encourage all of you to read this article and to enjoy every day. Live to live and love what you've been given! I'd like to end with a perfect quote from the song "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)" by Baz Luhrmann:

"Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself."