Exhausted

The past few weeks, including the Christmas and New Year Holidays, have made me keenly aware of something: doing nothing is far more exhausting than being busy. Or at least, it feels that way right now. Up until one week before Christmas, I was consistently running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Between school, work, relationships, and "getting ready" for the holidays I had a to-do list about a mile long. Yet for some reason, an enormous load of adrenaline helped me succeed at all these tasks with flying colors. During both Christmas and New Years, I was consistently tired. Now I know it was probably a mix of jet lag and recuperation, but it seemed I was always falling asleep. Of course it doesn't help that my family loves to watch TV (which I am convinced makes me more tired than anything else).

In essence, I have not started the new year off the way I had hoped. During the first four days, the only real task I accomplished was halfway cleaning my room - I still have a TON of papers/binders to get organized. Other than that I was dinking around online and whatnot. I didn't get my finances in order the way I wanted, or set up electronic transfers. I just looked up random stuff. Erg.

However, this year is new...I have decided that it doesn't help anybody when I beat myself up for past shortcomings. Instead of writing an entire article about how I should have done this or that, or yadda yadda, I am going to make a plan to move forward. The first plan is to unplug my TV - the one-eyed monster. The second, is to take a nap when I get home tonight. The third is to continue developing my 101 things list, and the fourth is to start organizing papers if Greg has not arrived by that point.

In other news, Greg asked me a seemingly easy question last night that I found very difficult to answer. He looked me in the eye and said "Where do you see yourself, and us, in two years?" To be honest...I don't know, and that scares the heck out of me. There are so many unknowns right now, and I don't do well with unknowns. :) So I also plan to start visualizing where I would like to be in that short time frame.

And lastly, I hope all of you will be happy to know that one of my goals is to write in this blog at least once a week or more for a year. So there should be many more articles to peruse through, even if they are quite random.

I hope you had a wonderful new year, and I look forward to doing more self-exploration in this balancing act we call life in 2009.